世界末日（1998）

我受不了大家都搞不懂
I’ll tell you one thing that really drives me nuts…
邦乔飞到底是歌♥手还是乐团
is people who think Jethro Tull is just a person in the band.
谁是邦乔飞?
Who is Jethro Tull?
我最爱吃下水汤
My favourite dish is haggis.
心 肺 肝
Heart, lungs, liver.
用羊胃包起来下水煮
You shove that all in a sheep’s stomach, then you boil it.
骚得带劲儿
That’ll put some hair on your ass.
我没有疯 我只是有点激动
I am not crazy. I’m just a little emotional right now, okay?
等你问完了能给我抱抱吗?
After this is over, could I, like, get a hug from you or somethin’?
那个女独眼龙好讨厌
Okay, Cyclops lady is startin’ to bug me.
你能应付吗?
Can you handle it?
我当然能应付这件差事
I mean, I can handle what I’m, you know, gonna do.
我只是受不了这间房♥间
I can handle that, but I don’t know if I can handle this room.
大♥波♥霸
Woman with large breasts.
中波霸
Woman with medium breasts.
这是哈利找我碴 这是他嫌我不够好
Here’s Harry givin’ me a hard time. And this is Harry tellin’ me it’s not good enough.
这是他不让我娶他女儿 多谢了
And this is Harry tellin’ me I can’t marry his daughter. Thanks a lot. I appreciate it.
尽管发泄吧
Just let it out.
我在高中的时候大脑受过重伤
I suffered a major head injury when I was in high school.
这张很像你 也是波霸
This one looks like you… with breasts.
我当然能应付 我能应付
Yeah, I can handle it. Yeah, I can handle it.
全垒打 小熊队赢得世界冠军
A home run! The Cubs win the World Series! Ah
不通过 不通过 全部都不通过
Fail. Fail. Depressively fail.
有一个人有亚安酮反应 那是效力很强的镇静剂
One toxicology analysis revealed Catamen. That is a very powerful sedative.
镇静剂很常见 大夫
Sedatives are used all the time, Doctor.
这是给马匹用的
This one’s used on horses.
有些人很壮
Some of these guys are pretty big.
通常需要一年半
It would normally take 18 months
的时间评估是否适合上太空
to psychologically prepare, prescreen viable subjects for space travel.
有些人有强烈攻击性…
We have seen evidence of a wide variety of territorial aggression.
他们上得了太空吗? 我只想知道这点
Can they physically survive the trip? That’s all I need to know here, okay?
老实说 他们连测验都通不过
Personally, I don’t know how they survived the tests.
核准
好一群太空狗熊
Talk about the wrong stuff.
早安 我是夏普上校
Good morning. I’m Colonel Willie Sharp.
我除了要驾驶X71登陆陨石表面以外
In addition to flying one of the X71 teams to that rock,
还要训练你们在太空中工作的心理和生理状态
my job is to train you to deal with the mental and physical rigors of working in space…
免得你们被吓坏了
so you don’t freak out on the asteroid.
美国太空人必须接受多年的训练
United States astronauts train for years.
你们只有十二天
You have 12 days.
开始之前有什么问题吗?
Do we have any intelligent questions before we get started?
X71是什么?
What’s an X71?
这是第一次亮相
You’re the first civilians to ever see her.
X71太空梭
We call ’em the X71s.
这是和空军合作的最高机密计划
It’s a top secret joint venture with the Air Force.
这两艘太空梭明天将被送到佛州
She and her sister ship in Vandenberg are leaving for launch prep in Florida.
我想先让你们看看
Thought you oughta take a look.
登陆陨石的太空梭分别是自♥由♥号♥和独♥立♥号♥
The two shuttles going up are the Freedom and Independence.
船身是钛合金打造
Her titanium alloy impenetrable skin covers the toughest, meanest,
这是史上最坚固 最先进的太空船
most sophisticated space vehicle man has ever made.
戴维上校和塔克将驾驶独♥立♥号♥太空梭
Okay, Air Force Colonel Davis, NASA pilot Tucker will command the shuttle Independence.
夏普上校和华特将驾驶自♥由♥号♥太空梭
Air Force Colonel Sharp, NASA pilot Watts, shuttle Freedom.
古柏和哈斯负责放置核弹
Munitions specialist Gruber and Halsey will supervise the nuclear ordinance.
所以呢
Anyway, I just thought
我只想让你们…先见个面
thought you guys should meet.
各位 欢迎光临无重力环境训练区
Gentlemen, welcome to our weightless environmental training facility.
我们要在陨石上游泳吗? 是不是这样?
So we’re going swimming on this asteroid. Is that what this is for?
我们在太空总署管这玩意叫 大穿山甲
Here at downtown NASA, we call this monster “Armadillo.”
他们会重新装上钻头
Going to be retrofitted with your drilling arm.
在无重力状态有八百匹涡轮马力
She’ll turn 800 turbo horses in near zero gravity.
让我们看看
Mind if we take a look at her now?
把塑胶管弄走麦斯 动手吧
All these rubber hoses gotta go, Max. Count ’em up.
我们要变速器
Make sure it’s shortthrow shifters.
告诉我这是什么?
Quincy! Somebody tell me what this is.
塑胶冰淇淋勺吗?
Plastic ice cream scoop?
是不是花了四百块?
What’d that cost? About $400.
我服役这么多年 没见过你们这么逊的一群人
This is about the sorriest group of people I’ve seen in all my entire military career.
太空飞行会让你们惊声尖叫
Your space flight’s gonna be a brutal assault on your senses.
我让你们先尝尝苦头
I’m here to give you a taste of that.
太空总署有全世界最顶尖的飞行员
NASA’s got some of the finest pilots in the world.
他们保证会让你们脑袋充血
They’re gonna be suckin’ your eyes into the back of your heads.
飞慢点 这是我的第一次
Go easy on me, okay? It’s my first time.
老实说 我有点怕坐飞机
I just wanna seriously say I have a small fear of flying.
我要让你们旋转
I’m gonna twist ya.
倒转
I’m gonna flip ya.
你在搞什么?
What’s the matter with you?
把你们晃得全身酸痛
Frap your body till your bones hurt.
要是你们尖叫 我们就飞得更快
When you squeal, I’m just gonna go faster and harder.
让我下去
No, take me down!
其他的人呢?
How’s the rest of the crew? Well, uh
抱歉我吐在你的仪表板上
Sorry about the rib chunks all over your dashboard.
我们得拍X光
Don’t forget: We gotta Xray all these
星际大战 你最想当谁?
If you had to say, who would you say?
不晓得 你呢?
I don’t know, Oscar. Who do you think you are?
韩苏洛
Han Solo.
我一定是韩苏洛 你是邱巴卡
No, if anybody’s anybody, I’m Han. And you’re you’re Chewbacca.
拜托 你看过 星际大战 吗?
Chewie? Have you even seen Star Wars?
1969年 阿姆斯壮能在月球上弹跳
Neil Armstrong, 1969, bouncing on the moon.
那是因为月球的重力比地球小
He’s bouncing up there because there’s less gravity up there than on Earth.
在陨石上也一样 小心点
This will be similar to the asteroid, so watch it.
要是在上面用力弹跳
Something gets launched off that asteroid with enough force,
就可能会漂到外太空
it’s gonna keep on going right into outer space.
你是不是也觉得华特很性感?
What is the deal? Is it just me, or is Watts really hot?
是啊
Yeah.
新的太空衣有定向推动器
We have these new generation suits with directional accelerant thrusters.
你不会漂到外太空
You won’t bounce like Neil Armstrong. Yeah, think so?
大熊
Bear!
是
Yes?
你有问题吗?
Do we have a problem?
没有
No.
我正在形容定向推动器怎么能让你留在地面
‘Cause I’m trying to describe to you how these D.A.T.s keep your ass on the ground.
万一我踢你一脚
So that if I were to kick you in the balls, Ooh.
你又不会用推动器 你会怎样?
and you don’t know how to work them, what happens to you?
漂到外太空
I float away.
没错
Yeah.
这个训练几时开始?
And when do we start training for that?
我给你们30秒戴好头盔
Gentlemen, I’ll give you 30 seconds to put your helmets on.
然后把氧气吸光
Then the oxygen will be sucked out of this vacuum,
你们就会知道在外太空的滋味了
and you will know what it’s like to be in space. Go!
30秒后减压
Depressurize in 30 seconds.
打开主阀门
Main valves have been activated.
真空状态
6天11时
各位 这就是飞行计划
Okay, gentlemen, so here’s the flight plan.
你们别笑 我知道这不合比例
Now let’s keep the laughter to a minimum. I know this is not to scale.
两艘太空梭将于周二傍晚六点半发射
Both shuttles will take off Tuesday at 6:30 p.m.
67分钟后
Now 67 minutes later,
到俄♥国♥太空站和太空人安卓普会合
you’re gonna dock with the Russian space station to meet cosmonaut Andropov…
他会替太空梭加液化氧
who will refuel the shuttles with liquid O2.
那就是燃料
That’s your fuel. Then you’ll release…
然后再花六十小时飞到月球
and take a 60hour trip toward the moon.
只有一个机会能登陆陨石
Now we only have one shot of landing on this rock,
那就是当陨石经过月球的时候
and that’s precisely when the asteroid passes by the moon.
利用月球引力和推动火箭
You’ll then use lunar gravity and burn your thrusters,
让太空梭绕过月球飞到陨石后方
sling shotting you around the moon, coming up behind the asteroid.
这时的重力将达到11G
You’ll be upward of 11 Gs.
我记得这段
Yeah, I remember this one.
大土狼被绑在火箭上 用大弹弓把自己射出去
It’s where the coyote sat his ass down in a slingshot and he strapped himself to an Acme rocket.
我们也是这样吗?
Isls that what we’re doin’ here?
色狼
Rockhound.
我很认真 因为大土狼的下场很惨
No, no, really, because it didn’t work out too well for the coyote, Harry.
我相信我们的火箭比大土狼的好