the portals of the temple of Apollo at Delhi
就是“Γνώθι σ’ αυτόν”[希腊语]
it says”Gnothi seauton”
意思是“认识你自己”
Which means “Know thyself”
但现在基本全自动化了
Yes but we are kind of 99% automated already.
而性格这种属于自觉的东西
No our personality or this thing we think of as ourselves.
其实只占大脑运作的一小部分
It is only a tiny fraction of what the brain is doing.
身体绝大多数的机能又都是自行运转的
Most of these automated body functions.
那么自觉到底根植于何处呢
So then is what is it we’re actually seeding?
这种自觉的概念
Now, if this notion of self
如果只占那么一丁点的话
is such a small percentage of usage
为何我总能听到关于它的话题呢
How come I always hear so much about it?
就像我的小鸡鸡
Well it’s just like my penis.
不是说它有多大
I mean it’s not that big
虽然只是身体的一小部分
it is a small part of myself
但需要很多关照
But it needs a lot of attention.
他的也是
His too!
你们是怎么认识的
And how did you two meet?
你不知道吗
You do not know?
怎么
What?
去读读杰西的书
Well, you have to read Jesse’s books.
想知道跟我做♥爱♥什么感觉
Yeah, especially if you want to know
就去仔细读读 快去读读
exactly what it is like to have sex with me, read away!
赶快去读
Read away!
不好意思 斯特凡诺斯
Excuse me, Stefanos.
我意思是那肯定是本好书
I mean it’s well written.
对
Yeah
我们十♥八♥年♥前相识
We met about 18 years ago and we kind of,
相互之间有一点感觉
sort of fell in love a little bit.
然后 我们失去了联♥系♥
and… then we lost track of each other
大概十年后 我们又遇见了
And a decade later, we ran into each other.
不 不是遇见 小笨熊
No, no, no … we did not run into each other, sweetie bear
你写的那本书 灵感来自我们相遇
You wrote a book inspired by our meeting…
我读了之后 决定去找他
And I read about it and went to look for him.
好浪漫
That’s pretty romantic.
没有 没有
Not really, not really, not really.
他没说他结婚了
He neglects to mention that he was married,
– 也没说有了孩子 – 那是细节
– had a kid… – Details! Details!
想起来真是灾难
Yeah that part was a disaster!
谈不上吧 这没办法避免
It wasn’t a disaster, it was inevitable.
第一次没有带套
And the first time that we had sex without a condom.
一下生了对双胞胎 我就被拖下水了
Twins! And have been chained to the sink ever since…
很遗憾
Sorry to say that.
没这么糟吧
It’s not that bad is it?
你家闺女多漂亮
The girls are so beautiful.
又那么可爱
They are cute.
还是有好的方面 对吧
Ok… no, no, it has some upsides. Ok.
让我教教你 安娜 怎样抓住男人的心
Let me tell you right now, Anna, how to keep a man
玩愚蠢的小游戏时 得处处让着他们
You got to let them win at all the silly little games
– 老天 – 他们喜欢
– Oh God! – they like…
我们俩认识的第一晚 一起玩弹球
When I met Jessy the first night we were playing pinball.
– 当然是我赢了 – 你听到的
– And of course I was winning. – What you are hearing is the
是我们俩恋爱关系里 最低级的谎言
foundational lie to our entire relationship …
最后一刻
And at the last minute I let the
– 我让球这样从中间过去 – 不对
– ball go down in the middle. – It is… It is, no.
– 这才能帮他们建立信心 – 玩什么都行
– It builds their confidence, – She can’t beat me at one game,
– 如果不让他们赢 – 不是所有游戏
– if I didn’t let him win it every game, – not any game…
我们就不能上♥床♥
We would never have sex.
我不得不说
I mean… I’m sorry to say
他是隐性大男子主义者
all this but he’s actually a closet macho.
就想娶个胸大无脑的老婆
He dreams of having a bimbo for a wife.
– 那是我最大的梦想 – 做梦吧
– It is my greatest aspiration. – Dreams!
那么
So…
怎么
Yes?
你是个作家吗
So you’re a writer?
是呀
Yeah, yeah… sure.
那你写的是书吗
So you write like… books?
我只写了几本
I’ve written a few, sure.
人家以前从没遇到过作家
Wow… I’ve never met a writer before.
你肯定聪明极了
You must be really smart.
有时人家累了
You know… I can’t even
甚至连自己的名字也写不好
write my own name sometimes when I’m tired.
你喜欢哪种书呢
What kind of books do you like?
人家喜欢故事里充满了
Well I like stories with a meaning behind it,
美丽的爱情
like a really beautiful love story.
没错
Oh sure yes!
我曾读过一本书叫《罗密欧和…
You know… I read this book once… Romeo and…
朱莉叶
Juliet
对呀
Yeah!
你也看过吗
Wow! You know it?
挺棒的 但其实那是出戏剧
It’s very good. It’s a play, actually.
那不是书 是戏剧
It is not a book, a play.
人家以为那本书是电影改编的呢
Oh I thought it was a book based on the movie.
– 不 是戏剧 – 原来是戏剧呀
– No, no, a play – Ok, it was a play, wow!
其实人家没有读完
Well, actually I did not read the whole thing
因为人家
because sometimes I have to
有读杂♥志♥的习惯
keep up and read these magazines
好了解大家都在做什么
To know exactly what’s going on in all those peoples’ lives.
– 这很重要 – 你这么聪明
– Well that is important. – Ok you are very, very smart.
我想你的下面也一定很厉害
And I bet you have a gigantic penis.
怎么我就这么爱这个女人
Why am I finding myself so attracted to this woman?!
这是男子主义有趣的一面
And that’s the funny part of it.
而糟糕的一面是
The not so funny part of the
今天我们去机场送亨利
closet macho, ok, is that today after we drop Henry off,
之后他告诉我
He tells me that
即使我有一份非常理想的工作
even though I have an offer for an amazing job,
他还是想我放弃并跟他去芝加哥
He wants me to throw it away and move to Chicago.
我没这么说
That’s not what I said,
– 我说我很想他 – 没错 这样我们
– I said I missed him. – Yes, so we can babysit
– 你可以 – 每隔一周都可替他的前妻
– You were expressing something – every other weekend for
– 表达你的观点 我也一样 – 照顾孩子
– you felt conflicted about and I did the same. – his ex-wife.
我以为我已经融入你的生活
I thought I was in a relationship.
你们停一停 今天跟亨利道别
Hey, you guys stop it, It must have
很不容易 对吧
been so hard to saying goodbye to Henry today, right?
– 没错 – 我想他也是个很聪明的小家伙
– Yeah, of course. – And I mean he is such an amazing kid.
我还想和他成为搭档一起下棋
Yeah… I’ll rate him as my chess partner
等到斯特凡诺斯和我分手
When Stefanos and I split up,
我要申请唯一监护权
I am getting full custody
这一时半会到不成问题
Well that’s okay for a while
因为我和我二十岁的女友
because me and my 20-year-old girlfriend
还有得折腾呢
will be a little bit preoccupied.
– 我爱男人 – 我爱你
– Oh I love man. – And I love you.
我讲个我老公喜欢的故事
Ok… I have a story that my husband here loves.
这个故事讲述了
And that’s gonna tell you everything about
男性与女性不同的特质
masculine and feminine, right?
准备好了吗
Ok, ready?
我妈妈曾经是名护士
My mom used to be a nurse so she
当病人从昏迷中醒来 她总是陪在旁边
was there when people were coming out of the coma.
认真听 这故事很有趣
Listen, it’s an interesting story.
– 我在听 – 并且告诉病人
– I’m listening. – So she was the one to tell them…
我的名字叫凯瑟琳娜 你刚从昏迷中醒来
Hi… My name is Catherina you’re coming out of a coma.
你遇到了严重的交通事故
You’ve been in a really bad automobile accident.
你会好起来的
You’re gonna be okay.
你会没事的 这样之类的话
You’re gonne be fine and, you know, stuff like that
她说 每个女人醒来的第一件事
She said that every woman
第一件 第一反应就是
the very first thing, the first reaction she would have
问身边的人
Would be to ask to ask about everyone else:
我的孩子有事吗
how are my kids?
我的丈夫有事吗 有其他人受伤吗
How is my husband? Is anyone else hurt?
而男人们 无一例外
Every man with no exception, when they
当他们被这样告知 第一反应是什么呢
were told all this, what was the first thing they did?
低头看看自己老二
